your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
