Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
