Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize