it was like eating out sand paper
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
