some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
