yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
