apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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