ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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