we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
