Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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