That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
