i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
everyone is single if you try hard enough
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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