he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
