we're blogging at a bar
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So apparently I’m into choking now
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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