he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
