Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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