Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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