Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
