just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is Oprah even human
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
