I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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