When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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