'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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