Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
