if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
