So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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