Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
