i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
