Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
