addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
