i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
