Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
