Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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