Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
