Who wears a wallet chain?!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
