i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize