I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize