Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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