I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize