I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
