I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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