I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
