tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
