I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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