How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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