You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
