I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
