it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Small penises have feelings too.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
3pm strippers are depressing
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Congratulations! We have a period
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