Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
