I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
