The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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