I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize