everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
