So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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