I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
