My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
