How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
