sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
These tits shall not be calmed
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