Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
