update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
