therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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