I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
