Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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