It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
