nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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