if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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