At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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