I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
