I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize