You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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