you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
