Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
NoShamevember. You game?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
