The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
