I showed him my bush... on skype.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize