you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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